Collection of Priceless Jokes for April '05

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.

He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few
seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few
more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need more
tail."

The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up
your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite!"

Did you hear about the pharmaceutical company developing a suppository made from the leaves of palm trees? Their marketing slogan is "With Fronds Like These, Who Needs Enemas?"

Blonde goes into the store and buys an AM radio.

Six weeks later her roommate lets her know you can play it in the afternoon, too.

Did you year about the auto mechanic who was addicted to brake fluid?

Not to worry. He said he could stop any time.

One day the keeper at the Grace Petting Zoo noticed that the orangutan was reading two books: the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"

"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a leek?

A bunion.

Guy and his girlfriend were picking up some sandwiches from the sub sandwich shop last week and she asked the clerk which of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive.

Girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?"

To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think we add tax to the turkey."

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As
she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the
soup."

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From 2003

July Jokes

August Jokes

September Jokes

October Jokes

November Jokes

December '03 Jokes