Collection of Priceless Jokes for March 2006

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his diploma hanging on the wall. It bore his full name and I suddenly remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name. He had been in my high school class some 40-odd years before and I wondered if he could be the same guy I had a secret crush on way back then??

When I got into the treatment room I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was much too old to have been my secret crush... or was he???

After he examined my teeth I asked if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang!" He said, gleaming with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

"1959. Why do you ask?" he answered.

"Well, you were in my class!" I exclaimed.

Then that ugly, old wrinkled son of a bitch asked, "What did you teach?"

Oldest Ole and Lena joke on record....

   Ole and Sven worked in a brewery. One day Ole fell into a vat of beer and drowned.
   The brew master asked Sven to go and tell Ole's girlfriend Lena what had happened.
   Sven knocked on Lena's door and when Lena opened the door Sven said:

"I have some bad news. Ole fell into a vat of beer and drowned."

Lena asked: "Did he die right away?"

"No," said Sven. "He came out three times to go to the bathroom."
---Courtesy of Leif Eie, Tucson, Az. via Flekkefjord, Norway

St. Patrick's Day Special...

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?" They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares: "Your husband just lost $500 playing poker and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Gallagher.

The public screamed that Vice President Dick Cheney should have been arrested for not having a $7 upland game stamp. However, it appears he didn't shoot any birds...only a lawyer and it's been learned that no permit is needed to shoot lawyers in Texas!

     In a school just outside of Pittsburgh, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Steeler's fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Steeler's fans too.
     Not really knowing what a Steeler's fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However, there was one exception.
     A little boy named Timmy had not gone along with the crowd.
     The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different ... Because I am not a Steeler's fan" says Timmy.
     The teacher then asked, "What are you?"
     Timmy said "I'm a Seahawk's fan."
     The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she asked Timmy why he was a Seahawk's fan.
     " Well, my mom and dad are Seahawk's fans so I'm a Seahawk's fan too."
     The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?"
     Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Steeler's fan."

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?

"Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

Please send your
Joke, Mind Boggler,
What kids learn,
Define this,
Thought for a day,
or
'They said it'
to
Hugo

From 2003

July Jokes

August Jokes

September Jokes

October Jokes

November Jokes

December '03 Jokes