Collection of Jokes published May '04

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May 2004

A blind man enters a Ladies' Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - given that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah....Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

A lawyer was playing golf when he got hit by a ball. When the player came looking for his ball, the lawyer said, "I'm a lawyer, and this will cost you $5,000."

"I'm sorry," said the golfer, "But I did say 'fore'."

"I'll take it," said the lawyer.

     Mother Superior called all the nuns together in the convent at Universal Church of Graceminster and made this announcement:
     "I must tell you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the Convent," reported Sister Katrina.
     The blonde nun in the back row stands up and says: "Thank God, I'm so tired of Syrah!"

     Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Grace when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee.
     Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you ken go a little furder now if ya vant to."
     So Ole drove to Maltby.

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December '03 Jokes