|
Previous
2005
Joke Emporium Collections
July
June
May
April
March
February January
Previous
2004
Joke Emporium
Collections
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
"A sense of humor is good for you. Have you
ever heard of a laughing hyena with heartburn?"
-- Bob Hope
Other
Daily Features
in your OnLine Gazette
Traits
of Family Dog
Define
This
For
those over 40 This
day in History
|
Fall
2005
Three
souls appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked the first one, "What was your last annual
salary?"
The soul replied, "$200,000; I was a trial lawyer."
St. Peter asked the second one the same question.
The soul answered, "$95,000; I was a realtor."
St. Peter then asked the third soul the same question. The answer was
"$8,000."
St. Peter immediately said, "Cool! What instrument did you
play?"
A
cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at
her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want
to offend you".
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old
as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a
chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that
there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find
offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss
me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1,
you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and
Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next
alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker
blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts
crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are you
crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm
married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin , and I'm going to
a Halloween party."
The
doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete
with tool chest, on the front porch.
"Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner."
The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner."
The man replied, "I know, but your neighbor did."
What
do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover?
A rash of bad luck.
Have
you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
Great
food, but no atmosphere!
|
